


Without You

by always_ae



Category: One Direction (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-02
Updated: 2013-05-02
Packaged: 2017-12-10 05:19:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/782269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/always_ae/pseuds/always_ae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam wants to believe Harry when he says he's using Taylor to get over Nick, but part of him knows. Harry will never choose him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Without You

**Author's Note:**

> Sad. And it sucks it’s the first thing I’ve written since this whole school/graduating thing. The next one will be better. It’s really just the ending. The ending is shit, I’m sorry. 
> 
> Oh, and I know the timeline is like 100% off, but just go with it.

Liam knew better than to let it get to him. He knew better than to let all the things being said turn him into this. He’s one of Harry’s best friends’ for god’s sake. Harry had warned them that after he went to visit Taylor in LA things would likely blow up with the way Mario was teasing him. He had said explicitly to them that he was not dating Taylor.

Yet, as Liam read the article that Perez Hilton had posted, then AOL Music, then Cambio; it was getting harder and harder to believe Harry’s words. He had even gone so far as to go Google for pictures of them together. He was just as bad as their fans.

Secretly he had this horrible giddiness in his stomach when he read that the majority of the fans were more against “Haylor” than they were “Elouanor”.

His break up with Danielle had been a world wind of trying to figure out who is was in this life without her. He’d gotten into this life while dating her, and now he had to go on in it without her. He figured he was the kind of guy who gave everything at least one try. So he let Andy drag him out to a club, and it wasn’t too bad. He didn’t drink anything near his friend, but it wasn’t horrible. It was also nice not to have to worry about that second pesky kidney for once. When Louis took him to get his tattoo, he knew he was in trouble. He understood why Harry had so many.

So he continued living his life a little more in the “single way”, and it wasn’t horrible. Of course this is Liam Payne we’re talking about, so his life without a significant other wouldn’t last. He always was falling too hard too fast. He needed to give his love out to other people. He loved it when he could make their day by doing little things for them every day, like bring them flowers or make them breakfast. No, what terrified him was this was the first time he’d actually wanted a relationship with a boy. Sure, he’d always been able to say a guy was fit or have a man-crush, but it rarely went beyond that. There was no doubt it was even worse because it was with one of his best mates.

It had been the third or fourth Andy had dragged him out to a club, of course by now it took only asking him twice instead of seven times. He arrived and found that Andy had invited Harry and Niall as well. For Li, it was definitely the more the merrier type situation. Niall was over the moon at the idea of Liam finally coming out ‘to have a pint with the lads’ which turned into about three pints and one too many shots. Niall just kept shoving them at Liam seeing how much he could get him to drink.

Andy had disappeared at some point of the night, and Niall was sober enough to make it home on his own. Or maybe he could just really hold his liquor like he claims. Either way, Harry was the one that offered to take poor pissed Liam home. He had practically carried Liam to the cab then up to his flat. He changed him, gave him water, put a trash can by his bed, tucked him in with a kiss on the head, and then slept on the sofa the rest of the night. Since that night Liam had started to get what he could only describe as butterflies every time he was around Harry. At first it was just when it wasn’t a professional setting, i.e., when it wasn’t all five of them together. Then it just progressed to all the time. No matter what, he couldn’t shake it.

He practically forced Andy to come with them to LA and NYC because he knew that he couldn’t handle this without him. Andy didn’t ask too many questions which was nice. He knew that if Liam got to where he was about to break down, he’d go to him.

Liam had held up pretty well. Then this whole Taylor Swift business happened.

It was a pity, because he had really liked Taylor before this too. She was a sweet girl and very sincere. She was able to laugh and make fun of herself which was a good quality to have in this business. Her songs were pretty catchy and he’d never had an urge to change the station when they came on. Of course now he couldn’t stand any of them, and didn’t want to hear anything about the perky blonde for the rest of his life.

He had thought about mentioning it to Louis, but Lou was having none of this Harry drama. He was just glad the fans were off Eleanor even if he wouldn’t admit it. Liam had even thought about calling up Grimmy, but he thought twice about it and decided it wasn’t the best idea. It was then that he’d broken down and told Andy everything who looked at him like he’d grown two heads.

“You’re just figuring this out now?!”

Liam paused, “Is that referring to me figuring out now so late in mine and Harry’s friendship? Or me being the last to figure out my feelings towards Harry?”

“The last one.”

“Am I really that obvious?” Liam asked sitting down on his couch.

“Mate, you didn’t even look at Danielle like you look at Harry.”

“Fuck.”

Andy patted him on the back as he sat down next to him before he turned on the telly, “tea and football?”

“Yeah, tea and football,” Liam said getting up to turn on the kettle. They had always done tea and football instead of pints and football back when Liam only had one kidney. Now it was just too late to change the tradition without making it feel cheap. To his credit, Liam tried to push it back into the back of his head, but the more he tried the harder it got. Halfway through the match he gave in, “what do I do Andy?”

“That’s up to you Li. I’d tell him. I’d tell him now before you and the band suffer, but you’re a lot more into the whole awkward afar mooning romantic crap than I am.”

“That last bit made no sense.”

It took another week and a half for anything to come of Liam’s inner turmoil. He’d done a decent job of avoiding Harry and any questions that may be Harry related. Andy was either being really annoying about it or taking the piss, he couldn’t really decide which. Usually he’d gone on bro-dates with Louis, but that was too easy for the subject of Harry to pop up at. Of course, he didn’t get much of a break between Germany and more publicity for the album. Soon enough, he found himself squished between Niall and Louis on a couch answering the same old questions they were used to answering by now, or ones they had been preparing to answer for weeks. It was once they were finished speaking about the album the interviewer asked the question Li had been dreading.

“Harry, there have been all kinds of rumors surrounding you and Taylor Swift, are there any truths to them?”

There was the “Harry pause” before he answered. Usually, it had never really bothered Liam. He had found it endearing how much Harry thought about the answers to his questions. Today though, it was nerve wracking. He found himself staring intently at his hands as they gripped onto each other tightly. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Harry no matter how much he wanted to.

“We’re just good friends. We’re still getting to know each other really well, and she’s great to talk to about stuff.”

“Like girls?”

Harry chuckled shaking his hair into his eyes before pushing it back, “yeah somethin’ like that.”

“So all your fangirls can calm down about this whole Haylor business.”

“Definitely.”

It was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, yet there was something that was eating away at his stomach. It got worse when Harry glanced over at him. Liam smiled encouragingly. That thing that was eating away with him was if he really honestly believed Harry. Was Harry saying it to get the fans off Taylor’s back or were they just not ready to come out with their relationship? Something didn’t feel right.

Liam laid in his bed that night staring up at the ceiling wondering if this was worse torture than going out with the lads to a bar. It was getting close to eleven and he still hadn’t been able to rid of any of the energy he had left over from the day.

Finally he dragged himself out of the bed for a late night cuppa. Hopefully that would do the trick, that and some episodes of Cupcake Wars. Instead, he was halfway through brewing a pot when there was a knock at the door. As he walked over he wondered if it was Andy coming to annoy him about the interview, or if he’d telephoned Ruth and she was here to do an intervention. Wouldn’t be the first time Andy’s tried that. No, he opens his door to find Harry with a bag of take out, a six pack of beer, and a smile.

“Food, booze, and Toy Story?”

Liam rolls his eyes but leaves the door open for Harry to follow him in, “go ahead and set it up. I’ve got to take the pot off then.”

When he came back and sat down on the bed, Harry had all the food laid out on top of the take out bag like Liam liked it. The previews before the movie were going and Harry already was half way through is beer.

“I was worried you’d be asleep or something.”

“I tried, but I wasn’t as tired as I thought I was I guess.”

Harry nodded cuddling into Liam’s side as the beginning credits came on the telly. They weren’t even through the birthday scene when Liam glanced over at Harry, finding him picking at a string he’d found in the couch cushion.

“Haz, why are you here? I figured you’d be all up for going out with the lads. Especially to clear up all the Taylor business.”

Harry laughed loudly. “That’s not going to be cleared up for a while,” he continued at Liam’s confused expression, “you could say I’m going to be Taylor’s beard for a while.”

“Taylor’s likes girls?!”

Harry laughed again, and Liam was beginning to think this was a conspiracy. Harry laughing all the time turning Liam’s insides into mush. “No, she just wants her mom to stop trying to set her up on dates. She wants to be single for a while so if I say one thing and she says another, no one will know what’s really going on and her mom will leave her alone.”

“Oh…okay, then.”

“Plus, the person I’m currently hung up on isn’t going to change his mind any time soon.”

“Grimmy?”

Harry made a sound of agreement as he nodded before curling into Liam’s side some more. Liam in turn wrapped his arm around the younger lad and settled back into the couch to watch the rest of Toy Story.

Liam was sure Harry was asleep when they finished Toy Story. So, in traditional Daddy Direction fashion, he picked the younger boy up and carried him down to the guest room. He tucked Harry into the bed, kissing the top of his head, and whispering, “you deserve better than this Hazza.”

“You’re one to talk,” Harry mumbled sleepily pulling Liam onto the bed with him. Liam couldn’t put up much of a fight while he was sputtering at Harry’s comment.

“What…what’d ya mean?”

“Li, the lads maybe oblivious or maybe they don’t want to see it,” Harry said snuggling into Liam’s shoulder. “I see how you glance at Niall with that look on your face, or when suddenly look down as if he caught you looking.”

Liam let out a breath through his nose. Of course Harry had no idea that Liam was glancing at Niall cause Niall had just stabbed him with his finger or kicked him because Liam had been staring at Harry. Harry caught him looking at the floor because he had caught Li looking at him not Niall.

“Don’t you worry about Daddy Direction Hazza, he’s got it under control.”

And with that, Liam settled down into the guest bed letting Harry fall back asleep before following his lead a bit later. 

“Liam you can’t just let this fester and build up inside you,” Niall said as the two of them sat in the lounge area on the tour bus. They were back in America for the Take Me Home tour, and they were in LA for over a week. Liam was avoiding the hotel because even though it was their alone time, they always seemed to end up together in one of their rooms together. He didn’t want to deal with Eleanor and Louis being all cute or Harry and Taylor being even cuter by trying to mock El and Lou.

Niall had followed him when he snuck out to the bus. They had entered the building and instead of joining everyone in Lou’s room, he’d told them he was going to the gym. He was sure under the chuckling he heard a “typical Li.” He had planned on going to the gym. He just wasn’t going until after he wasted some time on the tour bus. He’d just put in Batman Begins when Niall came in through the door and dragged him onto the couch for a snuggle.

“Says who?”

“Me…Louis…Zayn.”

“Harry,” Liam adds as sarcastically as he could, “if he finds out about our cuddle session he’ll corner me and I need to move on from my crush on you.”

“And then you should tell him he’s got it all wrong.”

“And make him deal with that when he’s finally moving on from Grimmy? No thanks.”

“He’s not doing it right. He’s trying to substitute Taylor for Grimmy. He’s going to get even more broken when she finally finds someone she wants.”

“Who says she won’t want Harry?” Liam said finally turning his head from the telly to look at Niall, challenging him to say that wasn’t possible.

“It could be you.”

“But I don’t like Taylor.”

“Wanker,” Niall said shoving him away before pulling him right back in. Just as he did the door opened causing the duo to look up. Louis, Zayn, and Harry filed in minus the girls.

“Oi! You’re having a cuddle party and didn’t invite me? I’m offended!” Louis weeped dramatically even though he dived in between the two boys. Liam looked up only to catch Harry’s eyes, who was looking at him with a ‘oh Li’ look on his face.

“Oh my god, don’t look at him like that,” Niall’s voice broke Harry and Liam’s gaze, “it’s not me he’s crushing on.”

“Niall!” Liam shoved him with his foot the best he could with Louis in between the two.

“What?”

Liam sighed turning back to Harry shaking his head, “don’t worry about it Hazza. We’ll talk later.”

He really didn’t plan on having that talk anytime soon. He was just going to have to avoid being alone with the younger boy until he knew that Harry had forgotten. During the exchange Zayn had come and snuggled in behind Liam which he was now extremely grateful for. Harry stood looking at Liam who was avoiding his gaze until Louis pulled him over to the pile making sure the curly haired boy was splayed over all of them with his face in Louis’ chest.

“Much better. Now, let’s watch Batman,” Louis said, lowering his voice to use a generic Batman voice when he said Batman.

Eleanor returned hours later, apparently from shopping with Taylor, and ended up practically carrying Louis back to their room in the hotel. Most of the boys had fallen asleep, not surprising considering their non-stop schedule for the past couple days. The only one that stayed awake after Louis was taken from them, was Liam. Harry had taken over Louis’ vacated spot in between Liam and Niall. Li knew it was going to take him awhile to go back to sleep with Harry curled into him. He didn’t nod off until the credits on Batman started rolling (God knows how many times it had played while they were napping).

When he woke up the next morning, he was in his bed in the room at the hotel that his things had been placed in. Vaguely he wondered who had carried him up to the room, but he really couldn’t be bothered to ask. It was still early which wasn’t surprising since he’d spent most of his off day asleep. So Liam did his usual morning routine: brushing his teeth, grabbing one of the small boxes of cereal, going to the gym for about an hour, then returning to shower and get ready for the day.

However, when he returned from the hotels’ workout room, he found Harry sitting on his bed drinking either a cup of coffee or tea, he couldn’t tell, while flipping channels.

“Morning Haz,” he said trying to act causally as he headed to the closest to find something to wear for the day.

“God Li, go get a shower, I can smell you from here,” Harry said making a face at him.

Liam yanked off his sweaty shirt and threw it at Harry’s head before heading into the bathroom and getting into the shower. He let himself have a little freak out about what he was going to do if Harry asked about Niall’s comment. He could never get away with trying to lie to a fully alert Harry.

When he reentered the room Harry patted the spot next to him on the bed which Liam took. He took a deep breath.

“Harry, I can’t do this now.” “I talked to Niall.”

They both chuckled as they spoke at the same time.

“Li…”

“Harry, I really don’t want to do this right now. Can you…ask me at the end of the tour before our break? I promise I’ll come clean about everything then.”

“Alright,” Harry said before adding as an afterthought, “I’m not going to forget about this.”

“I know,” and Niall’s not going to let you anyway, Liam added to himself.

The tour is over, and Liam doesn’t have to worry about Harry interrogating him anymore. Him and Taylor are official. He’d seen it coming a mile away. Taylor spent so much time with them on tour they might as well have been on tour together. If Harry remembered he wouldn’t get the chance to ask. Liam had flown out the earliest, much earlier than any of the other boys. Harry was staying in the States with Taylor for a while so he wouldn’t be up until Liam was over the Atlantic. He would go home to Wolverhampton, and just spend time with his family and friends. This wasn’t any different than any other time he’d gotten over someone. He just had to push through.

Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves.

Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash.

The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you.

The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you.


	2. The Boys' Run

Liam didn’t really want to face the fact that he was sabotaging himself. Niall loved to point it out though.

Harry and Taylor had long fizzled out, and yet Liam was still keeping his feelings to himself. And Harry would catch onto Niall’s teasing and hints eventually. He was not the most oblivious one in the group; no Liam knew that he held that title himself.

He was scared though, and he wasn’t sure what he was scared of more. He was scared of Harry not reciprocating and the pity he’d get. What would happen to the band in that situation? He was scared of the possibility of Harry ever returning his feelings. He’d never dated or done anything with a boy. Harry obviously had, and that just made him panic inside. He didn’t like being bad at things and being with a guy wasn’t something he could just practice without raising suspicion.

However, Niall wouldn’t leave it alone. Liam didn’t doubt that he was also using it as a form of entertainment. Ni would always attempt to situate the boys so Liam had to sit by Harry, always when he was feeling extra cuddly. He would try to bring up Li’s dating habits when he was sober, and getting him laid when he wasn’t.

Harry was completely oblivious to Ni’s motives though. He had started looking at Liam with those sad eyes again, like Niall was flaunting himself in front of Liam when LI couldn’t touch. He really wished they would both stop. He could see Harry getting fed up and confronting Ni who would just laugh and tell him it was Harry who was flaunting in front of him or something. Liam had to make a preemptive strike, but he wasn’t sure what.

He couldn’t lie, not to those big puppy eyes of Hazza’s.

Maybe he could just talk Josh into distracting Niall. Yeah, that could work.

“Hey Josh!” Liam called as he approached the drummer who was chilling at his kit before sound check.

“What’s up Liam?”

“Can I ask you a huge favor?”

“Does it involve distracting a blonde Irishman from pushing you into a dashing curly headed boy?” Josh grinned.

Damn. Niall apparently is a lot more devious than he though, “Yeahhh…”

“I’ve already been approached and threatened so I have to say no. Sorry mate.”

“It’s fine…I should’ve figured.”

“Can I give you some advice?”

“Please.”

“Best way to get Ni off you back, do what he wants,” Josh said patting Liam’s back “might even make you feel better.”

“Or make things worse,” Liam reminded him.

Josh only shrugged, “You never know unless you try.”

Liam really didn’t like thinking of himself as someone who didn’t try. He’d asked out that one girl like twenty times yeah, but this felt different. This was different.

All during warm up and sound check Liam couldn’t get Josh’s words out of his head. The guys noticed too, but Liam kept shaking them off with “it’s nothing.” He promised he’d be fine by show time. He promised himself that too.

It wasn’t for a few more days, but eventually Zayn trapped him in his room. They just sat on his bed watching telly for the most part. It was when Zayn asked him to come out with him while he smoked that Liam knew this was not going to be a conversation he wanted to have.

They stood out on the balcony, Zayn leaning against the wall and Liam looking over the railing.

Drag. “You’ve been distracted lately Li.”

Pause. “Yep.”

Drag. “Harry?”

Liam sighed looking down at his feet. He wanted to have his thoughts together before he had this conversation. Apparently he just couldn’t pull that off.

“Something Josh said actually.”

“Josh?”

“Yeah,” he said turning to lean against the railing, still not actually making eye contact with the other boy. “I went to ask him to distract Niall, but Ni had already gotten to him. He said I’d never know if I didn’t try.”

Liam paused. He knew the words coming of his mouth next. He didn’t like admitted them, but if he had to tell anyone it would be Zayn. He just understood Liam’s doubts and apprehensions better than anyone Li felt like.

“I don’t like not trying but I… I’m honest scared. Scared if he doesn’t feel the same, and scared if he does.”

“Go on…”

“Like if he doesn’t like me. I’m expecting that is the case, so I’m kind of prepared for it. But I’m scared of how I’ll feel about the rejection and the pity that I know will follow. Harry feel right shit for not returning the feelings, cause he’s genuine and caring, and I don’t want him to feel like that. We’ll try to act like things are normal, but you know there will be things that are avoided and ones that are amplified. And…I just don’t want to break up the band down the road because of a crush.”

“Then what if he does like me, even a little bit?! I’ve never dated a guy, never even kissed one. Not properly anyway. Louis attacking us does not count. And we can all assume from the way Haz talks he’s at least snogged a guy, namely Grimmy, but he’s hinted at more. I don’t like not knowing what I’m doing and I can’t exactly practice and….”

“Use that.”

“Use what?”

“I feel like Louis’ leaking into my brain…this is not one of my best ideas, but I think it’s the only one you’ll listen to,” Zayn said putting out his fag to come lean on the railing by Liam. “Tell Harry you like a guy, you don’t have to tell him who and you want help learning to be with one.”

“I could not do that! He’s see right through me!”

Zayn shook his head chuckling, “Li, he’s just as oblivious as you. You could stutter the whole time and he’d have no idea why.”

“It’s worse than one of Louis’ ideas….I’ll think about it.”

And of course, Liam did think about it, and think about it, and think about it, and think about it. He really never stopped thinking about it for the next week. He would just kind of get him in a trance and the guys would have to snap him out of it. And the way Niall and Zayn were grinning at him, Liam was sure Niall had told Zayn about the idea.

Leave it to Harry to come to him just as he’s about to break down.

They were in a hotel room, somewhere in the central US, and he had just settled down into the covers to check out twitter and watch telly before going to sleep. At first he ignored the knocking assuming it was Niall or Zayn. Eventually he got up and opened the door to find Harry standing on the other side, clad in pajama bottoms and a white tee with a bottle of water in hand.

“Sorry Hazza, I thought you were Niall and I didn’t want to deal with him bugging me tonight,” Liam said moving out of the way so that Harry could come and as he shut the door behind him.

Harry of course, got comfy in the middle of the bed like it was his own, which Liam didn’t mind, “Yeah, what’s up with you and Niall? He mentioned that I should talk to you about something but he wouldn’t say what…Zayn hinted at the same thing.”

He could kill them; Liam could really kill them both. It would be slow and painful.

“I’m just…I’m having some confusing…”

“Feelings? Liam, are you dealing with coming out of the closet?” Harry teased trying to help Liam relax.

“Not like that you asshole,” Liam said smiling softly while giving him a playful shove. “I’m just worried. I do…I like this guy.” He started running, might as well dive into the deep end. “We’re a lot alike in that we both really care about the people around us, including each other. We both like girls and guys, even though the whole liking boys is much newer to me. I know that he’s been with a boy before… not sure how far but way more than me. I’m scared that if he does like me the same way I like him, which I doubt, but if he does…I’m just scared I don’t know what I’m doing and he’ll realize right off and I’ll feel pathetic.”

“Awe Li!” Harry said wrapping his arms around Liam from behind, pulling him against his chest tightly. Liam awkwardly held on to Harry’s forearm not really knowing what else to do. “If he is anything like you, like you said he was, then he’d never think badly of you. He’d be touched that he was the first guy you wanted to be with.”

“Thanks Haz.”

“And you do have one thing down.”

“What’s that?”

“You’re one of the best cuddlers I know,” he said pulling Liam back against the headboard so he could turn and have Liam be the big spoon as he grabbed the remote.

“Thanks Hazza,” he said quietly settling his arms around Harry.

He thought about if he should have pushed it further that night, asking if he could try kissing Harry, to see what it felt like to kiss a boy. He couldn’t though. What he did think about the rest of the night was how nice that was. He thought about how much he would love if he and Harry could just cuddle and watch telly on the weeknights, sharing a room after a day of travel and the show. He would surprise him the next morning with his favorite breakfast from room service.

Yeah, he was screwed.

The next day he avoided eye contact with all the boys’ but Louis’ which was probably not the best idea. He should have just avoided everyone’s eyes. Louis always looked like he knows fucking everything. Liam was just uneasy the entire day. He couldn’t talk to Zayn or Niall about it because they would tell him the same thing they said every time, talk to Harry. If he told Louis, he’d definitely slip up and tell Harry. So it looked like he was on his own again. He just had to push through this for the guys and everything would be okay.

That mind set lasted about two more days before he broke down and ended up knocking on Harry’s hotel door.

“Cuddle?”

“Of course,” Harry said ushering him in and latching himself onto Li before they even made it to the bed in the middle of the room. Liam settled down in the bed, being the little spoon this time felt even more perfect, and mindless watched whatever show was playing on the telly.

“Are you really watching Cupcakes Wars or do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

“Can I have another option?” Liam asked quietly trying very hard to focus on the program. The way Harry kept giving him an encouraging squeezes and snuggling his nose into Liam’s neck. “I…I know I’m pulling a Liam and over-thinking, but I don’t know what to do. Ni and Zayn won’t leave me alone, and I’m too worried about everything.”

“Is this about that boy you like?”

“Mhm.”

“And you’re sure it’s not Niall?”

“Positive.”

“But he knows who it is?”

Liam had a sneaky feeling where this was going and it was the exact opposite of what he wanted. He really didn’t want to admit his feelings to Harry right now, not when he’d not been able to come up with a plan B, C, and D for what to do to keep things as normal as possible after he turned him down.

“Yeah, well, he’s guessed and I’ve uh….I never confirmed exactly. He knows though.”

“And you’re not gonna tell me are you?”

He did not expect Harry’s voice to sound so sad when he said that. Niall wouldn’t have cared; Zayn would have hidden any emotion; Louis’ would have been annoyed. He had not expected Harry to sound so sad, and it kind of made him feel even worse.

“Hazza I…”

“Liam it’s alright, I understand that you don’t want to talk about it.”

“It’s not that Harry. I don’t want to….see it’s complicated because, well. It could make things very awkward,” Liam said stumbling a little over his words as Harry leaned over Li’s body to attempt to make eye contact.

“Is it Andy?”

“Ew, no,” he blanched even thinking about Andy like that.

“Someone in the band?”

“Not the band…”

“Is it one of the boys’?”

“Harry please,” Liam begged closing his eyes tightly trying to imagine he were anywhere else but in a secluded bedroom with Harry who was drilling him about who he fancied.

“And you’re sure it’s not Niall?”

“Oh god, no Harry, he’s a bit too blonde and brother like to me.”

“So let’s see, you’re a brunette guy, so that does rule out Niall, and technically Zayn if you want to get real specific and not go for the dark raven haired beauties.”

Liam groaned rolling over onto his stomach which brought Harry on over to be laying across Liam’s back, “are we really going to do this?” he mumbled into the pillow.

“Yep,” he said nodding enthusiastically. “Louis doesn’t have curly hair, but he can dance and you seem to like that. Josh has more sandy hair and Sandy…”

“Harry please just stop…”

“Why won’t you tell me Li?”

“Ughhhn,” Liam groaned turning his head to the opposite side of Harry’s so he’s staring at his feet instead. “Fuck it. You missed one rather important, the most important really, member of this band.”

“Cause you didn’t let me finish! I was about to say…wait, are you talking about me?” Harry questioned slowly.

He felt Harry shuffling above him, moving to sit by him, poking him in the side. “Liam, are you talking about me? Do you…is it me?”

Liam wanted to turn over and give him a look and call out his ego playfully. Something that would make this all seem okay, but he knew that as soon as he looked at Harry’s wide eyes and lips parted in awe, he wouldn’t be able to do it. Instead he just nodded into his pillow. It felt like an eternity passed, when really it was probably about a minute and a half. Nothing was said; no one moved. Liam couldn’t take it. This had been what he had been so adamantly avoiding. He took a deep breath, as much as his current position would allow, and rolled off the bed. Heading for the door, he didn’t chance looking at Harry.

He wouldn’t make it out the door though. As he gripped the handle, he felt Harry’s large warm hand wrap around his wrist, “Has it been me since the beginning? Is that what Niall meant on the bus months ago?”

“Yeah,” Liam replied softly. There was no point lying to Harry now. He knew and so Liam might as well muster up all the pity he can. Get all the pathetic-ness out in one swoop.

Harry tugged on his wrist, pulling him so that his upper half was twisted away from the door despite how much he just wanted to sink through it. Li’s eyes were still shut tight, so he missed Harry leaning in. He felt Harry’s soft lips pressed firmly against his though. He didn’t hesitate in a response. It was soft and caring, but sensual as fuck. It was exactly how he pictured Harry would kiss.

Then it was over.

“Now you don’t have to worry about being completely inexperienced with a guy when you tell him,” Harry said softly leaning his forehead against the side of Liam’s head.

“What?” Li asked, his voice a wreck.

“When you tell that boy you like that you like him, you won’t feel so inexperienced. You’ve kissed a guy before. It’ll be easier next time,” he said kissing the side of Liam’s head.

“Thanks Haz.”

“Anytime…really.”


End file.
